You know how when you go to interviews and you'll be asked what do you want to be in 5 years time? A few times I answered 'Happy'.

I want to be happy.

Most times though, what I get in return is blank stares.

"Happy?"

Yeah, happy. I figured that what they wanted to hear is that I want to earn RM10,000, live in a house along Jalan Bukit Pantai, drive around in a Volkswagen Golf.. you know, that sorta stuffs. Being happy doesn't sound too ambitious I suppose, or perhaps, earning RM10,000, living in a house along Jalan Bukit Pantai and driving around in a Volkswagen Golf is their idea of happiness.

Sorry I'm not that guy. There's plenty of him around, you can have him. I can't be him.

I remember telling one interviewer, chit-chatting in an interview that is clearly lost, when he asked me what is it that I really wanted to do, that I want to be a photojournalist, a war correspondent perhaps, with my dusty camera, behind debrits of what was a house, somewhere on the frontline of some future war, covering every minutes of it.

He then asked me, aren't you scared you might get hurt? I told him, if I get to do that, I don't mind dying. But don't ask me to do things I don't want to do, because I know that I'll never going to do it.