Decisions are easy to make,
It is the consequences that are hard to swallow
Posted on Monday, April 28, 2008 | 0 comments


Sorry saudari cybercafé, anda kena marah sebab saya. Opss..


Sorry kepada semua, cerita hari ini masih pasal sekolah saya.

Back in 2005 when I was Form 5 we had a dispute with the Administration about cheering. It started out because of how we conduct the cheering practice; the same way it has been since I was in College. Some manja boy told one teacher that we are torturing them so the whole cheering practice was revamped.

Here's the thing. I used to loathe the cheering practice too.. why was it done in the TAR Hall with all the fans off? Why are the form fives at the back always harassing us? Why why why?

Here's what I've learnt. The reason why its hot is to emulate the field.. Kat padang tak ada kipas kan? The form fives? They're emulating the opponent's supporters. After 5 years in College I've seen Budak Koleq got beaten by King Edward's supporters, harassed and mocked by Clifford's supporters and got helmets thrown at. So practice is a good thing right? To prepare for all these threats. The hall? Simply for control and acoustics. Make sense? It does to me. Cheering practice is more than just learning how to sing the songs, how to clap and how to cheer. It teaches how to behave, how to act and how to respond.

So anyway, we really kena by the Admin. They accused us of abusing the cheering practice as a 'jeering' practice so the whole thing got banned for a while. Only later after series of negotiation did they allow us to continue the practice, but the venue was changed to the Prep School field and with Mr. Fairuz supervision.

Then after settling for that rather than nothing, another obstacle crossed our path. The Admin wanted us to end our cheering at 6.30 pm, regardless of the fact that the game was not yet over at that time. Again, we fought about this. Are you out of your mind? Leaving your team on the field to struggle while the hundreds of us march away back to our dorms.. We couldn't accept that. Still who are we to say anything against the Administration. Instead we the form fives decided that okay, let the juniors go back to their dorm early, but we are staying until the game is over. Yes, there were intimidations from the wardens, their rotan armed and ready but we stood on our grounds and cheered for our team. I am very proud of my batch because of this.


Fast forward to 2008. I was at Dorm 18 West Wing. It was Sunday morning of the Old Boys Weekend. It was 8.30 o'clock. The game is about to start in a few minutes. I look around and my juniors are still on the bed, dozing off. I remember hearing Hariri asking my junior:

H: Kau tak pergi cheering ker?
M: Ah, malas la..

Ah, malas la.. There it was, coming from a kid who was in form one when I was form five. I just looked away and felt sad that all our efforts to preserve cheering turned to vain. Still these boys are wondering why we never passed down our song to them and kept on asking us for it to this day.

Ask yourselves why.


Budak Koleq, always the rebel. Always against the status quo.
Posted on Monday, April 28, 2008 | 3 comments


I was talking to my bestfriend's ex one evening. Yes, your ex. She was from the female version of MCKK so I told her about last weekend's trip back to Kuala Kangsar for the Old Boys Weekend. I was surprised of what she told me:

Owh.. Seronok eh? Gempak tak? Kami takda Old Girls.. Selagi tak jadi somebody tak boleh join.

I thought we are all somebody.


Posted on Friday, April 25, 2008 | 1 comments


Aku suka tanya soalan ni kat kawan-kawan aku:

Macam mana kalau kau tengah jalan-jalan, tiba-tiba kau tersadung pastu terjatuh. Kau pengsan. Bila kau sedar, kau tengah terbaring atas katil dan kau dengar suara mak kau. "Adik, bangun dik. Hari ni kan adik nak pergi daftar masuk MCKK"..

Sanggup tak kau go through balik 5 tahun kat koleq? I got many answers but ada seorang yang bagi jawapan yang betul buat aku tersenyum:

Tak kesah kalau kau dengan budak-budak kita semua ada.

Thank you.
Posted on Thursday, April 24, 2008 | 1 comments


Badan ketar-ketar, nak demam. Mungkin tidur-tidur yang tak pernah cukup dan kegilaan menjadi badut, juggling segala-gala yang tak mungkin dapat di juggle dah mula memakan diri. Tak apa, terima kasih kerana tak ganggu hujung minggu tua ku. Tapi, kau menggangu kerja-kerja aku pula. Ah.. nak buat keputusan memang senang. The result tu yang banyak tak sanggup tanggung.

Mana la panadol ni bila aku perlu sangat nak guna.. Ubat segala penyakit. Sukat dos anda baik-baik. 

Selamat malam semua. Aku masih belum boleh tidur..
Posted on Wednesday, April 23, 2008 | 0 comments

I confess

Neet asked me last week about the Old Boys Weekend.

So ape activity kat sana nanti?

Man, that is one hard question to answer.. Sure, there are activities there: the footie match, the rugby match, the souvenir booths, the gerais.. but none of that was ever the reason to justify going back down that highway to Kuala Kangsar. I told her that I'm going for my friends, everything else is collateral.

On the way back I was in the car with Bebeh. He was driving, I was tired. I asked him:

H: Kau still tak get over it kan?
B: Takde la.. Well, still ada feeling la. Haha..
H: Haha.. Ye la, tipu la kalau kata tak kan? Tu la aku cakap kat kau hari tu. Aku rasa kau layan member lagi baik daripada kau layan awek kau.
B: Haha.. Betul la tu

Well, the thing both of us agreed with was that it's not the school that you should be in love with. Not the grand old buildings nor the stout old tree. It's the people. Without the people the buildings are just that. We give meaning to it. We give it life. We are The Malay College, everything else is collateral.

Somehow it reminded me of a quote I read back in 2001

At the end of the day, the empire stood alone over the horizon, ruling over the emptiness within

There were only 9 of us but we are friends. We give meaning to the buildings and the fields. As long as we are friends, it will always be meaningful. And we've all agreed, brotherhood lasts forever. Even death won't tear us apart.

Thank you Alep, Hariri, Zamir, Bebeh, Gon, Pijie, Chye and Syamil. It was a great weekend. Thank you to Neet for understanding. I love you all.

I confess, I am an Old Boy.
Posted on Monday, April 21, 2008 | 2 comments


I opened Arif's MySpace page a few weeks back and at his Who I Want To Meet section I saw a name: Mohd Jayzuan. So I asked him.

H: Minat MJ ker?
A: Minat. Awat?
H: Haha.. Abg. Hadi pernah dinner dengan dia.
A: Hah? Bila? Kat mana?

Somehow I felt that he got rather excited by that fact. I was having dinner at Cyberia with Ben when MJ and John joined in. I don't even know who he was then and I asked him a few silly questions that made him rather irritated I guess.

H: Kau belajar lagi ker kerja?
M: Urm.. Kerja, kerja..

Later only Ben told me who he was. Malu pulak seketika.

Nevertheless, the thing I want to talk about here is that sometimes ordinary things we do are not necessarily ordinary to other people. To Arif, I was so very lucky to have an opportunity to hang out with Mohd Jayzuan. The same goes to me when I worked with Hans Isaac. To me it was normal; he's my boss. To some other people, it is a dream come true.

If we think about the things we do in that perspective, it comes down to the fact that most of the things we do are special. Not only the things we do but also the way we live, the people we know and the people we are. Everything is special in its own way.

I found this quote today by Marc Chagall:

My name is Marc, my emotional life is sensitive and my purse is empty, but they say I have talent.
Posted on Thursday, April 17, 2008 | 2 comments

Cerita dua manusia

Nak dengar cerita?


One day, on a bus somewhere in Bangkok. A boy was sitting idly with his friends, bored of the Bangkok jam. Further a few rows in front of him was a few more friends of his with Rizal. He was telling them a story perhaps.

Suddenly, he saw something that capture his attention. Rizal pulled out a few cards from his wallet and among them was a MusicCanteen card. A what? Well, there used to be a website calleb MusicCanteen where you could purchase songs by local Malaysian artist. A song costs RM3 a pop and the purchase methods are either by credit card, by phone or by the MusicCanteen card. He had been looking all around for the cards and at last he found someone who might know where to get them.

He stood up and walked to Rizal. He asked:

H: Abang Rizal, tu MusicCanteen punya card eh?
R: Yup
H: Kat mana nak beli eh?
H: Err.. I mean..

Rizal went on to his conversation with the boys. Hadi couldn't ever forget the look he had when he uttered those two letters: K.L. That smug, sly look.. KL.

Kau ingat aku tak tau KL?

It's hard for me to hate someone. I don't agree with a lot of people yet I still manage to get along with them. Rizal, on the other hand managed to piss me off so much that I couldn't find a space to forgive him. Who do you think you are?

That was why I spent a lot of my times during my school breaks in KL. It hurt my heart so bad that I was belittled like that. That is why I took the effort to go to parts of the city that I am not familiar with, getting mugged and all, memorizing street names, landmarks, routes so that I no longer have to ask people like Rizal. Even if I have to, I won't feel bad because I know every single street and alley in Kuala Lumpur.


It was roughly around 5pm back in 2003. Hadi, Zameer and Pok Wang was walking away from Pavilion, passed the main gates, the New School, the Bilik Kebal and the labs towards the Form 4 block. None of them were sportsman but they sure love to walk.

Zameer and Pok Wang stopped for a cigarette break behind the block in an electrical room. Hadi was there too. After a while, they walked out of the room and walked to the side of the Prep School field, watching kids fumble and tackle. At the distance was Shahriman, jogging around the field.

Nevermind him, they all agreed.

As they walked behind the Hargreaves Hall, on their way back to the otherside of the College, they all decided to entertain themselves and run. Hadi was very thin back then. They all were. Suddenly as they were only nearing the New School foyer, they heard a shout.

"Berhenti! Jangan lari!", it was Shariman.

They stopped. Zameer and Pok Wang was in front and Hadi was at the back. They stopped running but Shahriman didn't. Hadi saw Shahriman running towards him, arms outstretched. It was in a nick of time that he turned his face away; the punch landed on the back of his head. Medula Oblongata.

Pantang anak Melayu.

What did I ever do to you Shahriman? We were running, entertaining ourselves. It was games hour anyway. Instead, you thought that we were running away from you. Who do you think you are?

Perasan, tak tahu malu. Buat apa kami nak lari daripada kau?

I still remember his first words to me back in Form 1, when I was still enjoying my honeymoon. My sudden lack of parental control, my sudden freedom. I was naughty as much as any kid would be when mom and dad are away. Why did you treat me like a criminal?

"Saya memang perhatikan budak-budak macam awak"
Budak-budak macam mana yang kau maksudkan? Yang kreatif dan berfikiran terbuka? Yang mampu melihat dunia dan keadaan dari pelbagai sudut yang berbeza? Yang berani berkata-kata walaupun jelas risikonya? Kau tak nampak semua tu. Hati kau gelap, tertutup dan busuk.
"Saya dulu pernah sumpah seorang budak ni. Dia kurang ajar dengan saya.. Dia pandai Maths Tambahan. Selalu dapat A1. Tetapi SPM dia cuma dapat C5. Termakbul doa saya. Saya rasa lega"
"Saya tahu budak-budak yang tak suka saya. Tak apa, nanti kamu dah naik Form 4 saya akan masukkan mereka-mereka ni dalam kelas saya. Waktu itu lah saya akan menghancurkan mereka"
And you call yourself a teacher. Tak malu? You need to learn a lot of things from Cikgu Safuan. That's a teacher.

Kalau anak sendiri terabai tak terjaga, jangan berani cakap tentang nak jaga anak orang. Jangan berani cakap tentang menjaga generasi muda Melayu. Jangan cakap apa-apa.
"Awak kena ingat, cikgu-cikgu juga manusia. Ada tahap kesabarannya. Jangan sampai kami hilang sabar"
Betul, aku sokong, tapi kau dengar ni:
"Kau kena ingat, Budak-Budak Koleq juga manusia. Ada tahap kesabarannya. Jangan sampai kami hilang sabar"
Dah, jangan cakap apa-apa. Aku tak hormat langsung dengan kau. Aku tak rugi apa-apa, kawan aku tak rugi apa-apa. Kau yang masih rugi.
Posted on Wednesday, April 16, 2008 | 6 comments


1. Always know what you want and what you want to do with it
Say you want to buy a camera. What are you using it for? Do you prefer simple point-and-shoot or do you need a DSLR?
2. Do research on the product using the many reviews on the internet.
Get to know the latest products or if a new product is due to out soon. You might want to wait a bit
3. When reading reviews, go to  a website that is specific about the product you are interested in. 
You want to buy cameras, go to a photographer's review site or forum. These people really know their stuff. Sure, normal consumer electronics website like CNet is good too but it still is good to get professional's opinion.
4. Get to know the details and what they mean.
So after reading the reviews you stumble upon some jargons. What do they mean? What's the difference between a full-frame sensor and a four-thirds? Fire up some Wiki.
5. Pick a few products you particularly like and go window shopping. 
Go and try the real thing. Does it look as good as the jpegs? Does it feel right on your hands? Too big? Too large? Are the buttons reachable?
6. Talk to the storekeeper. 
Ask him the hard stuffs. See if he knows what he's talking about. If not, don't listen to his recommendation. It is good to also make sure that you are going to purchase a product at its authorized dealer. You might bump into trouble if the thing breaks down later.
7. Eliminate the ones you tried but didn't like.
You've read about it, you've seen in, you've touched it. Cross out the ones you didn't like. 
8. Compare the remaining options and think realistically.
Focus on the ones remaining, justify the features and the price. Do you really need that feature that'll cost a few hundred bucks more or are you going to be fine without it?
9. Make up your mind and go buy. 
At this point, you've made up your mind. Don't listen to the salesperson or whoever else. You've done your work, there's no time to second guess.
10. Keep the receipt and settle all the warranty forms etc.
You'll never know when your purchase breaks down and you couldn't find the receipt.. Oh oh..
11. Enjoy your purchase.


I've used to not do all this things. It's a bit of a hassle right? Nonetheless, I've learnt that people don't shit money and it's a bad feeling, paying money for things that are below expectations or stumbling through impossible returns and repairs.

Some people finds it easy to just tell them shop people what they wanted. Some of my friends prefer those people's opinion rather than their friends suggestion. Weird if you think about it. You are putting all your trust on a person you barely know and would forget about soon after. Maybe people think that he works there, he knows his stuff. Maybe. That's why you need to ask those hard questions. Test before trust.

Another thing people often do is paying too much attention on the technical side of things that they neglect the human interaction side of it. Computers particularly. So okay, that laptop is super duper, the memory is vast but does it fit your lifestyle? If you travel a lot, would a brick heavy laptop be a burden? If you plan to do work on site, does the meager 2 hour battery life enough for you? How's the trackpad? Are you careless? Would that particular model crumble to pieces if you accidently drop it? How long's the warranty? It goes on and on and on..

We also pay money for stuffs we don't need. What do you plan to do with that computer? Dengar lagu? MySpace? Are you doing 3D rendering on that thing? How about heavy games? No? They what's the extra RM1000 for that super duper graphics card for? Save it and get a bigger hard disk instead. Or get an iPod for me. Hehe.. and oh, is it really necessary to have a few dozen iPods?

Well, I talk a lot but I pun buat those things too. It's just that I really we need to look into our spending and look at where we are losing money. Nothing is free after all.
Posted on Wednesday, April 16, 2008 | 0 comments

Boys and Girls

Aku pernah baca buku Lelaki Dari Marikh, Perempuan Dari Zuhrah. Malu nak bagi tau orang.. macam terlampau desperate. Tapi Ajim kata buku tu bagus. Tak mungkin Ajim tipu aku.

Apa-apa pun, lelaki dan perempuan tak sama. Lelaki marah tentang keadaan, perempuan marah tentang keperibadian. Aku marah kawan aku sebab main-main waktu buat kerja. Kawan perempuan aku marah kawan yang sama kerana dia memang bersikap sambil lewa. Aku marah sepupu aku kerana dia campak PowerBook G4 aku ke lantai. Neet marah aku terjatuh laptopnya kerana aku seorang yang cuai, careless. 

Faham maksud aku? Mungkin tak. Aku memang tak pandai nak explain. Maybe sebab tu aku tak tulis buku.

Aku memang seorang suka stereotype orang lain. Tetapi aku bukan prejudis. Ada beza dik. Mungkin apa yang aku nampak kes terpencil. Mungkin juga aku tak faham apa yang aku nampak. Tapi aku masih nampak dan aku masih boleh tulis. So what else should I do.

Sorry kepada semua. Aku tau ramai tak suka aku blog begini. Kurang in depth coverage, barely scratching the surface. Sebab tu orang tak komen. You say it best when you say nothing at all kan? Tisk.

If you could slit my throat

And with my one last gasping breath

I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt

Selamat pagi semua.
Posted on Wednesday, April 16, 2008 | 2 comments

My team

T1: Ey, kenape dengan kau ni?
T2: Kau yang kate aku edit kan?
T1: Mane ade aku kate mcm tu? Buat sama-sama la!
T2:Yang kau glabah sangat ni kenape? aku editor, nanti aku edit la!
T3: Kenape yang kau taknak bagi tape ni?
T4: Tah, bayar same-same kan?
T2: Ape masalah korang? Aku editor!
T1: Ha, okay la. Kau editor, kau director, kau producer, kau assistant director, kau assistant editor.
T2: Aku pulak. Kau yang lebih-lebih. Producer nak jadi, director nak jadi. Habis orang lain?
Ahh.. the love I see at the computer lab. This kindof things do happen but this is the first time in my 3 years in the university that it happened so blatantly and in full public view.

Chill ladies.

The thing is from what I see, people pursue all this titles not because they really think they fit the bill. Rather, it is to safeguard themselves and to show that they did the most job. Or so I guess. Some people are like The Apprentice's project leader. They wanted to do everything because they have this idea and don't really trust other people to execute it other than themselves. Both are a no-no.

I am blessed to have great teammates for production. I enjoy working with them and I don't see myself going with another team anytime soon. At this point, everyone should already have their own stable team. The thing with the 'roles' when doing a college work is that it is only a small portion of the real work. If the editor only wants to edit and the director only wants to direct and the producer just sits around and make phonecalls. Who's going to set up the camera and the tripod as well as operating them while holding a boom?

My stable team is a team that does everything together; preproduction, production and post. A team that is always there when desicions are need to be made and a team that each member have a fair say of things. Most of the time we only discuss about when the editing is done and we need to type in the credits. That is my team.

Experiment people. You can't always work with your friends.
Posted on Friday, April 11, 2008 | 0 comments

For Mak and Abah

N: neet bce blog kakak u td...
H: owhh
N: sweetnye dad awk...
H: :-)
H: yg mane yg sweet?
N: anniversary...
H: i mean, which part?
N: nape nak tawu..
N: hehe
I know it's kind of late. I haven't been online much. I got Mr. Dean Harman and Mr. Syed Zul to thank for that. Anywho, Happy Anniversary Mak and Abah.

Sincerely Hadi and Neet. Here's hoping for a sweet story like yours to write about in 27 years time.

Posted on Friday, April 11, 2008 | 0 comments


Polaroid, a dying format. The Polaroid Company is closing down their factory and since they never license other companies to produce the films, it is good as gone.

The price of the film is expensive. Very expensive. I bought a pack of 10 films a few weeks back in Pertama Complex. It costs me RM45. That means, the 4 photos up there costed me RM18.

Crazy right? I do have a digital SLR, why would I still want to spend money on polaroids? 

Well.. just look at them. Aren't they nice? Timeless even. 

They are also true. I am an editor. I enhance truths and at the same time, I lie. I've edited magazines, I edited videos and I always edit my photos. Still, I can't edit a polaroid. What I snapped at that moment was what really happened. That was what photography was. I used to ridicule when I look at my mum's photo album where they would dress up nicely and go take photos at studios. That what it should be. People are supposed to pour out their heart on every single snap, meticulously tinkering everything to get it right. Nowadays, I just shoot without giving a thought.. you can always edit it later right?

I really hope that The Polaroid Company would at least license their films to Illford or Kodak to produce. Keep it alive coz people don't know what they have until they lose it right?
Posted on Wednesday, April 09, 2008 | 0 comments


Di dalam sebuah Proton Satria, berhampiran US Embassy.

S: Sayang, awak tau tak kondo-kondo around KLCC ni how much harga dia?

K: Tak.. berapa?

S: My friend punya cousin beli satu unit.. around the size of my apartment. It costs him RM 4 million.

K: Haa.. mahalnya. Macam mana nak beli?

Good question. Si pemandu membelok memasuki Jalan U Thant.

S: Apa kata kita beli around sini? Tak nampak KLCC la tapi.

K: Cantiknya!.. Nakk!

Si S tersenyum gembira. Barangkali sama saja harganya dengan kondo-kondo tadi. Tapi tak apa, semua orang ada impian. Cuma impian si S mungkin 5-6X lebih memerlukan kos daripada kebanyakan orang. 

Dia berfikir sejenak.. How realistic are my dreams? Hati kecilnya menjawab: As realistic as your dream to own a Ferrari by 30. Si S murung sebentar. Well, I might as well dream to be the Prime Minister by 40 then


Si S terus memandu, melepasi embassy-embassy besar yang architecturenya macam sampah sampai ke Jalan Ampang Hilir.

S: How about this area? Macam murah sikit je.

Again, menipu diri sendiri dan orang lain. Ah, peduli.. 10 tahun lagi. Kita tengok nanti.

p/s: Dialog dan cerita diatas aku saja reka-reka. Tiada sangkut paut dengan aku & Neet. Betul, aku tipu lagi. Ishh..
Posted on Sunday, April 06, 2008 | 4 comments


Terima kasih kepada yang menunggu, selamat jalan kepada yang pergi berlalu. Tak mengapa, masa kamu berharga.

Aku sedang asyik memerhati hujan, mendengar irama-irama merdunya. Sebuah sweet escape daripada gegendang telingaku dipalu oleh sebuah band tempatan yang namanya sama. Mungkin aku dah tua. Mungkin aku tak ada taste. Ah, lantaklah.. seperti kata-kata gadis Caucasian. Whateverr.

Bukan maksudku untuk berhenti menulis, bukan maksudku juga untuk menulis entry ini dalam Bahasa Melayu berselit-selit frasa English. Aku bosan. Aku bosan. Tetapi selepas hampir 2 bulan tanpa menulis, aku bosan. Aku bosan bosan. Jadi aku nak menulis semula. Memang senang nak buat keputusan kan?

Teringat aku sebulan yang aku habiskan di pantai-pantai indah di Bahamas sambil menghirup Virgin Piña Colada serta hujung minggu berjalan-jalan di lorong-lorong sempit Havana bertemankan sebuah kamera polaroid, snap snap snap gambar-gambar kehidupan yang jarang kita lihat di corong-corong television yang sarat dengan Artist yang buta seni. Kenapa mereka digelar Artist? Pelakon kan senang? Artist hanya layak dipakai oleh Azmyl Yunor dan rakan-rakan. Kenapa mereka yang busking dekat Central Market digelar pemuzik jalanan? Sudirman pun buat concert dekat Chow Kit, tapi dia Artist. Ah, terima kasih Havana.. bandar usang yang banyak mengajarku erti kehidupan.

Yes, memang aku tipu. Aku tak pernah ke Bahamas, tetapi aku memang teringin nak ke Havana. Pelik, aku tau. Aku pun pelik orang yang hanya ingin ke Paris, London dan New York. Apa salahnya ke Berlin menyaksikan Brandenburg Gate serta tinggalan Tembok Berlin dan Checkpoint Charlie? Oh, susah la Hadi.. Orang Jerman tak cakap English. Ya Tipah, betul.. Tapi orang Paris juga tak cakap English, Ils ne parlent pas Anglais.. Ils parlent Français. Oui, je parle Français aussi. Mais je parle tres peu. Zaim, tolong betulkan grammar aku. Madame, maafkan aku kerana malas-malas. Sesiapa yang ingin temani aku backpacking ke Indochina, India, Pulau Jawa, The Silk Road, Havana serta ke Kuala Kangsar, you know my number.

Mungkin berjalan akan membuka mata aku yang kian mengantuk.. Mungkin juga tidak. Tapi tak salah mencuba kan? Perut pun dah semakin membesar, nafas semakin pendek.. Rupa-rupanya pijak clutch bukannya satu senaman. Hurm, tak apa.. tapi ingat sahabat songsang kepada sahabat songsangku. Just because some people signal with their left hand doesn't mean that they are any better. Ingat tu.

Terima kasih kepada Salman Rais dan Ameirul Azraie. Blog anda memberikan aku speret.
Posted on Saturday, April 05, 2008 | 2 comments

My Photo
Location: Klang Valley, Malaysia

Rebel, sweetheart.

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