Sastera and the Internet

There are still many people who hold this belief that the younger generations of Malaysians are not interested in Sastera.

This people have been looking at all the wrong places. Sastera is thriving on the Internet.

Sastera? On the Internet? That's blasphemy!

Kenapa pulak? A blog is a metaphor for a book.

The Internet is a lawless zone. Budak-budak tu tulis mengarut..

Siapa kata seni itu berundang-undang? It being lawless is a wonderful thing. The mind is free.

I've read more beautiful words on this 12 inch screen in the last few months than what I've read on printed papers for the last few years.

The Internet gives us the opportunity to be heard. It gives us the chance to showcase what we've written instead of leaving it lying dead in a book we kept hidden from others, takut kena gelak.

How many people sent in their writing to magazines, books only to find their work not good enough to be publish, leaving them sad and demoralized.. 

Ah, benci aku tulis sajak-sajak ni. Bukan orang baca pun.

Houston, we've just killed a Chairil Anwar.

There's always a place and time for everything. The Internet and the blogs are the future of Sastera. 
Posted on Saturday, August 30, 2008 | 3 comments



I'm doing a documentary for my documentary workshop class this semester. I need help.

I've been writing down a few things I would like to make a documentary about but hey, this is the Information Age. We do things socially. So here's the thing, I would really appreciate it if anyone could give me any ideas about what to shoot. Everyone obviously have something important that they wanted to discuss about, so speak up.

It doesn't have to be complex, it doesn't have to be something difficult. It can be anything simple, just so long as there's something to shoot and a story to tell.

You guys know me, I'm a student. I study films among other things. Still, I believe that there's always something we can all learn from each other. Right? So yeah, if there's anyone who want to follow us around shooting, sure, why not. If you want to sit down with me for hours and hours of editing fun, be my guest. If you want to contribute in any way, a soundtrack, a music you've made or just about anything, we are more than honoured. We could always use a helping hand. And and extra pair of eyes. And another set of brains.

I'm not expecting anything out of this, I won't sulk and cry if no one replied. I just wanted to try.. to get to know people. Call it a social experiment, call it movie making, call it a desperate film student attempting to get good marks with other people's help, call it whatever. Let's make things better.

So, speak up. I'm listening. 
Posted on Friday, August 29, 2008 | 20 comments

Goodbye Lenin!


Posted on Thursday, August 28, 2008 | 0 comments

The Merdeka Post

As we inches in slowly towards Merdeka, let me share one of my favourite movie about Merdeka.

Except of course, it is not about our Malaysian Merdeka. It is about the German Reunification. I know, I know.. independence and reunification are two different things.. but hey, they are also quite similar right?

Here's what Wikipedia's synopsis about the movie. Yeah, yeah.. whatever. I'm not really a short and simple person. I don't want to bore you. It's about the same as what I was writing anyway though maybe a lot shorter.


The film is set in East Berlin in 1989-1990. Alexander Kerner lives with his mother Christiane and sister Ariane in a small apartment. His father has fled to the West, apparently abandoning the family. In his absence, Alex's mother has become an ardent idealist and supporter of the ruling Socialist Unity Party of Germany. 

When she sees Alex being arrested in an anti-government demonstration, she suffers a near-fatal heart attack and falls into a coma.

Shortly afterward, the Berlin Wall falls. 

After eight months, she awakes but is severely weakened both physically and mentally. Her doctor says that any shock might cause another, possibly fatal, attack. Alex realizes that the discovery of recent events would be too much for her to bear, and so sets out to maintain the illusion that things are as normal in the German Democratic Republic. To this end, he and Ariane return the previous drab decor to the apartment, dress in their old clothes, and feed the bed-ridden Christiane new Western produce from old-labeled jars. 

Their deception is successful, albeit increasingly complicated and elaborate. Christiane occasionally witnesses strange occurrences, such as a gigantic Coca-Cola advertisement banner unfurling on a building outside the apartment. With his friend, a would-be filmmaker, Alex edits old tapes of East German news broadcasts and creates fake special reports on TV to explain these odd events away. Since the old news shows were fairly predictable, and Christiane's memory is a bit hazy, she is initially fooled.

Christiane eventually gains strength and wanders outside one day while Alex is asleep. She sees all her neighbors' old furniture piled up in the street for garbage collection, a car dealer selling BMWs instead of Trabants and advertisements for Western corporations. However, Alex and Ariane quickly find her, take her home, and show her a fake special report that East Germany is now accepting refugees from the West following a severe economic crisis. Christiane, initially skeptical, finally decrees that, as good Socialists, they should open their home to these newcomers.

However, Christiane relapses one day and is taken back to the hospital. Under pressure to reveal the truth about the fall of the East, Alex creates a final fake news segment. He convinces a taxi driver to identify himself as Sigmund Jähn, the first German in space, who in the segment becomes the new leader of East Germany, and gives a speech promising to make a better future by opening the borders to the West. Christiane is very impressed by the "broadcast", but in fact already knows the truth, as Alex's girlfriend had revealed everything when he was not around. The tables are turned completely, and it is Alex who is being protected from reality. 

Christiane dies soon afterwards, but not before seeing her husband one last time. It is revealed that he had wanted the family to join him in West Berlin. However, Christiane, fearing the government would take away Alex and Ariane, had gotten cold feet and therefore chosen to stay in the East.


What I find interesting about this movie is on how they portray the now defunct East Germany. To them, Alex especially, it is more than a country. It is a personification of their mother, who she is, what she stood for and all her struggles and sacrifices. It is an amalgamation. You can really feel this through the last few lines of that movie, as spoken by Alex.
The country my mother left behind is a country she believed in. A country we kept alive till her last breath. A country that never existed in that form. A country that in my memory, I will always associate with my mother.
This is a few wonderful things I've learn in film class. Movies make you think of things not necessarily as what they are. People don't see a son's love for his mother when they think about a country. It is the same as another movie I watched, a Japanese movie about Udon where noodles symbolizes a son's quest to be accepted by his father. That is what I tried doing in my story about how a couch can be significant in a friendship.

Thinking about Goodbye Lenin!, I can't help but to reflect on Malaysian movies, patriotic onces especially. Why must a Merdeka story be about an actual event that happened in our history? Yes, those events are important and those people are important.. but can't we just for once look at things differently. Yasmin Ahmad did. She looked as a kasut made in Gombak and she saw the self believe of a country. Why don't we have more people that think that way?

True, we must feel thankful about how our forefathers fought for independence. But honestly, I understand why many of us don't really appreciate it other than just a holiday. It's not that we don't love the country.. it is because we can't relate to it as much as people who've been through it. I've read about how evil he Japanese were but I can't relate to it. In my memory and lifetime, Japanese people are cute. They dress funky and they create beautiful gadgets. How is it for me to see that the are evil when a lot of things in my life are made easy because of them?

The same goes for everything else. Are the communist really evil? Saying that in Malaysia is like denying the Holocaust in Germany. Through my life I've learn that it wasn't only UMNO, MCA and MIC who fought for independence. How appreciative of Merdeka would I be if I only appreciate what Tunku, Tan Cheng Lock and Sambanthan did and turn a blind eye to Ahmad Boestamam and Burhanuddin Al-Helmi's struggle? Which leads to another question. Do we celebrate Merdeka or do we celebrate the people who made it happen?

Persoalan.. banyak persoalan.

I think what I need now is a new meaning for what Merdeka is. Okay, maybe to my grandfather and grandmother Merdeka is being free from colonial rule. That is what Merdeka is to them. I'm still looking for mine. I'm still looking for heroes of my time for me to look up to.

Till then, Selamat Hari Merdeka would still sound hollow. 

Selamat Mecari Erti Kemerdekaan.
Posted on Thursday, August 28, 2008 | 0 comments


Hujan turun lebat lagi.. Natalie bangun malas dari katil, sedang tangan-tangannya erat memeluk tubuh. Seperti hari-hari lain yang sejuknya hingga ke tulang, otot-otot dan isi si gadis kurus ini pun terketar-ketar.

Perlahan dan malas dia menapak ke jendela. Langsir ungu yang tergantung beralun-alun dalam perbalahannya dengan angin-angin dingin. Angin ingin masuk, langsir kata jangan.. langsir kata jangan.. langsir kata jangan, jangan, jangan. Namun.. angin-angin itu tak peduli, mereka tak pernah peduli.

Sedang Natalie menghulurkan tangannya untuk mecapai daun-daun tingkap, sempat dia terpandang ke bawah. Tiada apa-apa. Cuma yang ada ialah sebatang tiang lampu yang cahaya tungstennya berbalam-balam kuning kekaratan, ditemani kegelapan malam dan kedinginan hujan. Biru dan kuning menghasilkan hijau kata hati Natalie. Jika ini filem Stanley Kubrick, mungkin lampu itu sedang memainkan peranan simbolik yang besar dalam penceritaan. Tetapi ini bukan cerita, ini kehidupan sebenar. Stanley Kubrick pun sudah mati.. baru tadi Natalie penat memaki hamun filem terakhirnya.. bosan. Berdosakah dia kerana berasa keji terhadap karya seorang lagenda?

Pang! Dedaun tingkap terhempas ke bingkai jendela, Natalie terkejut, angan-angannya tercantas. Sempat juga dia mecarut dua tiga perkataan... Setan! Terima kasih angin-angin sejuk. Setann! Pelik juga jika difikirkan, tadi mereka bukan main lagi nak masuk dalam. Bodoh punya angin. Angin-angin tak ada pegangan.. ibarat lalang ditiup angin.

Tertutupnya jendela, bilik yang tadi kucar-kacir tiba-tiba jadi aman, jadi nyaman seperti ketika pendigin hawa baru sahaja ditutup. Indah. Natalie duduk di bangku malas di sudut bilik, tangannya mencapai suis lampu yang ada di lantai. Serta-merta cahaya kuning-kuning romantik menerangi bilik.. nak kata cerah tidak, gelap pun tidak. Cukup-cukup romantik. Tetapi sedang Natalie mengalihkan punggungnya ke kedudukan lebih selesa, di fikirannya terbanyangkan bertapa romantiknya lagi jika ada lelaki bersamanya di sini, mendakapnya erat supaya dia boleh menjelirkan lidah dah meninggikan hidung kepada angin-angin tadi. Alangkah romantiknya jika dia sedang duduk di atas riba seorang lelaki yang gagah, tampan dan berbudi pekerti. Mungkin dia boleh belajar sesuatu tentang budi bahasa.

Tapi itu ilusi, Natalie duduk seorang..
Posted on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 | 2 comments

To a French person

Sorry if I annoy you, I was just trying to be friendly.

Posted on Wednesday, August 27, 2008 | 0 comments


Situasi 1

Aku pakai camera biase je.. Tak ade DSLR lagi. Tu yang gambar tak lawa sangat tuh..

Aku pakai DSLR.. tapi pakai kit lens jer. Nak kene beli L lens dengan Speedlight baru boleh ambik gambar lawa..

Aku punya gambar tak lawa macam dia. Aku pakai 350D, dia pakai 40D.. Kena upgrade body baru gambar lawa..

Aku rasa nak beli Lomo la. Aku tengok diorang ambik gambar lawa..


Situasi 2

Aku pakai PowerBook G4.. mane larat nak buat video effect-effect. Kena beli MacBook Pro baru boleh..

Aku punya Macbook Pro 2.4Ghz jer. yang baru tuh 2.5Ghz.. pakai yang tuh baru boleh buat effect lawa-lawa..

Kat office aku pakai Mac Pro. Laju gila.. baru la boleh buat effect lawa-lawa.. Tak lama nak render. Nanti aku nak beli tu pulak la..

Bosan la buat video, tengok orang buat 3D macam seronok. Nak kena beli HP Blackbird la macam ni, baru boleh buat 3D, Mac Pro tak banyak software 3D..


We rely so much on our tools that we pushed aside our own capabilities out of the equation. A man is more than his tools. 

Remember that Hadi. Pelan-pelan kayuh sudah.
Posted on Tuesday, August 26, 2008 | 7 comments

Zaman Malapetaka

Tekan bagi besaq sikit boleh?

I wonder if it apply only to the left side or for the whole montage..


Word of the day:

FUD (noun)
fear, uncertainty and doubt, usually evoked intentionally in order to put a competitor at a disadvantage.

Usage example: Read The Star, NST, Utusan and Berita Harian. Look for Syed Hamid Albar.


Excerpt from The Star:

BUKIT MERTAJAM: Police are setting up roadblocks in Penang and also in neighbouring Kedah and Perak to ensure maximum security for the Permatang Pauh by-election.

Ahh.. progress. Now the delightful roadblocks are also available up north. I wonder what awesome goodness would happen if they brilliantly decides to dam the Penang Bridge. Oh jolly jolly joy!

If the roadblock, a rather new luxury KLites are entitled to are now readily available, I wonder what's keeping the monorail from getting over there.. Hurmm..


Zaman malapetaka? Mana ada lah!
Posted on Monday, August 25, 2008 | 2 comments

Amar and Teeno

Tiada dalam gambar: Ibu bapa dan pacar-pacar menangis. 
Serta rakan-rakan.

Teeno and Amar, two of several prominent names in The Class of 2005 finally departed off to The United States of America yesterday.

One thing that made me look up to this two people is that not only they excel in their studies but they still have a great life. I struggled for an interesting life back then and my studies suffered. I don't know how they did it, maybe they're geniuses. Maybe they just tried harder.

Truth be told, these trips to the airport to send off people kind of made me sorta regret for not going overseas myself. Not going or not able to go? Entah la.. We live and we learn I guess. To adik-adik sitting for SPM, belajar elok-elok.

Anyway, Teeno and Amar, just do your thing. Enjoy life and keep on being smart and successful. In every statement made by Koleq about creating an all rounded individual, they should have your photos by the side.

Good luck!

Posted on Sunday, August 24, 2008 | 10 comments

The Value of My Sanity

I went to the Annexe yesterday with Neet for the preview of Goat Film's short movie, The Value of My Sanity.

I knew about this project thru' Hariri as well as a few mentions of it in a few things I read about Yuna. Well.. that's about it la for me. I didn't really follow the development of the project nor did I watch any of the trailers until a few days back.

So anyway, I did the online reservation to get me a pair of seats only to find out that there was only one left.. I was one of the last few people la. Thankfully for me yet unfortunately for her, Abir couldn't come because of a kenduri so I (politely) asked for her seat which she, in turn (politely) offered it to me. Yeeha.. Thanks again ya?

So okay.. what do I think about the film? Well.. coming from the tongue of someone oblivious about the project, I was very much impressed with the cinematography. The camera movements are nice, smooth and well motivated. I wonder if they really shoot in film, considering the grainyness of the picture. My only pet peeves is probably that revealed boom mike, visible in that shot towards the end. Was it on purpose?

Well, though I do have a few things on my mind I don't think it is fit for someone on my level to write out loud about other people's work. In a nutshell, I find the story a bit too English for my liking, particularly because it is a story about an average, ordinary Malaysian joe. The overall story could be improve I believe.. since all things can be improve right? It is kind of a little too short you know.. Oh well.. It is a short movie after all.

Then after the screening, we were entertained by 3 very talented Malaysian musicians who have contributed their music for the film; Otam, Estrella and Yuna. Each of them sang 3 songs, except for Yuna who was asked to do an encore. I've listened to Yuna perform live before but it was the first time I listened to Estrella live as well as my first time listening to Otam.

Otam dengan lagu perlancongannya

Estrella dengan gadis mencuri lampu limau

Ini pula Yuna

So, anyway.. yeah. That was about it la actually. Nothing much.. just a peaceful gathering of people to see some movies and listen to some music. Congratulations to Goat Films by the way.. and of course, thanks again to Hariri and Abir.

p/s: In case you haven't noticed, I'm having a bad English day. It may have something to do with the Merdeka thing. Heh.. as it.
Posted on Saturday, August 23, 2008 | 7 comments

Wow wow wow..

Wow.. wow, wow, wow.

At long last, Pak Lah naik jugak LRT dengan KTM Komuter. Bagus, bagus.. I'm impressed. I'm sure this has nothing to do with the elections up north, isn't that so Pak Lah?

A good start though looking about the news for the last few weeks especially those about your dwindling approval rating, it is kind of a case of too little, too late. PM unhappy with Komuter, KTM services so read the headlines.. urm, yeah. That's what we've been telling you all along.

Well, here's Amir Hadi Azmi, a Malaysian citizen, hoping that at this exact moment, you, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, Malaysian Prime Minister, is in Putrajaya discussing with your people on how to improve the matter. As the great Don once said, actions define a man.

Have a nice day Pak Lah.

Click here for The Star's report on the story
Click here for Malaysiakini's report on the story

Posted on Thursday, August 21, 2008 | 7 comments


NZ Bawah

A year and a half ago. Ever since I bought that Nikon in February last year this is my personal best. And I am very annoyed.. I haven't been that much satisfied with my work. It's true what people say.. Owning a Nikon doesn't make you a photographer. It makes you a Nikon owner. It's true with everything else.. Owning a Ferrari doesn't make you a race driver. I makes you a lucky rich sonafabitch.

I've been holding the urge of posting this photo on the web because I think it doesn't belong here. It deserve to be printed on some glossy paper, published in some magazine and admired by many many people. That is Ego 101 folks. Nonetheless, though I have sent many photos to many magazines for their whatever column.. none made it to the press, which I somehow understand since I'm not that good.

Tonight I am thinking of sending this particular photo off to try and make me proud. Yet the thought of finding something that you see as an achievement failing to do what you expect it to do is very much unbearable. It's like telling everyone that you've been banged from behind only to find them calling you a liar. Oh wait.. wrong example.

Anyway, yeah.. looking back at how things are, and trying to think as a realist, I'm trying not to care about what people think. I dig photography for self-satisfaction. As long as I'm not satisfied, no one can make me think otherwise. This, is Self Esteem. It doesn't work without the self.
Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2008 | 2 comments


Aku tengah tak ada idea. Kita try skill ni kejap.


Siapa Kasher? Kenapa kunci toilet perempuan dekat dia?
Posted on Tuesday, August 19, 2008 | 8 comments

The Colonizer and The Colonized

I've been reading and watching things on how some Western people are annoyed (for the lack of a better word) on how the rise of people immigrating into their country are changing their lifestyles, culture and what not.

Well, let's go back a few hundred years ago. Let me remind You that there once was such a thing called the Colonial Era where You went out to sea, along with your civilized neighbours and started to compete with each others, colonizing lands as You go by.

Oh, have You forgot how many cultures You've changed, modified and destroyed? How many local governments You've messed with in order to civilize them? How many natural resources You've took to fuel your factories? Maybe You've forgotten all that.

So here i am reminding You. Yes, You might have already left those lands but whatever You did there remains. Remember, that there is such a thing called Karma. Did You think that the Karma Police are going to let You get away with what You did?

Next time before You bitch about the 'others' in your land, think.


Selamat Bulan Ogos.
Posted on Sunday, August 17, 2008 | 0 comments

Ismail, The Last Days

I went to KLPac yesterday with Am to catch the Ismail, The Last Days theater. This is my first Joe Hasham show and the fact that this is a rather serious musical about a prominent politician, I don't really know what to expect.

Anyway, I don't actually know a lot about Tun Dr. Ismail to begin with other than the fact that he is Tun Razak's deputy and TTDI (and TTDI Jaya for that matter) is named after him. Don't blame me (okay, blame me) but seriously, how many Malaysian know anything about Tun Ismail? We didn't learn about him back in school when we were studying Sejarah. We learnt about Temenggung Jugah anak Barieng, Tun Fuad Stephens, E.E.C Thuraisingam.. but not Tun Dr. Ismail.

Perhaps it does have something to do with our fear of talking about things concerning 13 May. Why it happened, Where did it started, What really did happened and How did it happen. Maybe we just know when it happened. Maybe I need to read more.

Okay, I don't think just because I saw one production on one man I have the right to justify and judge him. The theater on the other hand is a tad mature-ish. It would be nice if you enjoy musicals (did I mention it was a musical?) or if you really want to know more about the history of our country. Teenagers and kids.. hurmm.. I'm not so sure..

Anyway, I would like to congratulate Joe Hasham and team for the production, regardless of what people say about you. You've been in Malaysia longer than I have. 

So come on people tunggu apa lagi? Check it out.

For more info about the play. Click here.
Posted on Friday, August 15, 2008 | 4 comments

Word Gets Around

It only takes one tree
to make a thousand matches
only takes one match
to burn a thousand trees
Stereophonics, A Thousand Trees, Word Gets Around (1997).
Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 | 0 comments


"As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains seemingly unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we must be most aware of change in the air - however slight - lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness."

William O. "Wild Bill" Douglas (1898 - 1980), Longest serving US Supreme Court Justice from 1939 to 1975.


I was writing something else just now but I'll save it for a later day.. years and years from now.
Posted on Wednesday, August 13, 2008 | 2 comments

Are you asking me a question?

I went to class yesterday, the first class of the semester and a few minutes after entering the classroom I had this conversation with the lecturer.

L: Who knows what bourgeois is?
H: It is the ruling class..
L: Bourgeois is ruling class?
H: Yeah, you are asking about the bourgeois as in the bourgeois-proletariat thing right?
L: Are you asking me a question?
H: No, I am trying to answer your question.
L: No, you are asking me a question. When I ask you a question, you don't ask me back.
H: I'm asking you a question to help me answer your question..

Yes, I was a kind of annoyed by the way he replied. I for one, enjoy a good discussion with people and in discussion, questions and answers comes from both sides, not a one way thing.

The reason I asked for the clarification is not because I want to show off (as some people think). I first encountered the word back in the MCKK library, while reading about books on the Russian Revolution though the understanding of the meaning only came a few years later. The thing is that my dear lecturer is an African, Liberian to be exact. As with any people in the world, we all speak English rather differently. The pronunciation, diction, etc. I was having some difficulties understanding him thus the need to clarify. Isn't that justifiable?

Nonetheless, he accepted my answer adding that it is his teaching style to have a distinct time for lecture and a time for questions. I accepted it, everyone is different anyway. 

Throughout the class, I found out the he knows a lot about Malaysia and can even speak a little Malay (the fourth African I know who can speak Malay). He has been here for around 11 years and he seemed very knowledgeable about this country. In a nutshell, that kind of makes the whole thing more interesting. I like this cross-cultural thing, see what it is like through their eyes.

I do understand that there are some people complaining particularly about the language barrier. Some people also suggested that we do a petition asking for a replacement lecturer. To me, I think I'll stay aside. What good is studying communications for if I cannot accept and learn other people's culture. Give everyone a chance. He took the time to understand this country, I'll take the time to understand him.
Posted on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 | 7 comments

Nik off to Pittsburgh

Tak fly, Dah fly, Mungkin fly, Tak fly

I went to the airport pagi tadi to send off Nik Munawwar who'll be furthering his studies in Computer Science (or is it Software Engineering?) in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Now is 5.00 PM in Malaysia. Nik should be somewhere over the Pacific at this moment. God I hate air travel.. it must be boring up there now isn't it? Take a listen to this song about airplanes which, coincidentally enough, I discovered while I was in one. It might not be The Beatles Nik, but enjoy it nonetheless. Haha..

This time tomorrow, where will we be?
On a spaceship somewhere sailing across an empty sea
This time tomorrow, what will we know?
Will we still be here watching an in-flight movie show?
Anyway Nik, good luck in your studies there. Use the opportunity given to you wisely and enjoy your stay there. We back home will be missing ya.

Au revoir!
Posted on Monday, August 11, 2008 | 6 comments


I'm standing in the middle of my room in Rawang, looking around for things to pack to bring back to Sri Kembangan. I always have this itsy-bitsy feeling everytime a new semester starts.

I am flipping through the list of things I'm studying this semester. Documentary Workshop, Documentary Theory, Media Ethics and Consumers, Audience, Publics and Users. I don't know what the last class is about but it sure sound enlightening. Oh well, I had fun with Music Video and Advertising last semester so I guess studying Documentaries should balance the karma. I'm still thinking of what to shoot this time around.. 


On the other hand, I direly miss my room in Sri Kembangan. Somehow it felt more personal to me than this room here in Rawang. It is sorta like the attachment I have with my bed area (we call it corner) back in College. My College friends can surely verify how much I love my corner. Why? I don't know. Maybe because this room here I share it with Arif (eventhough he rarely sleeps in here; there's only one bed).

The extend of my corner is from the small table on the far left, where I put my alarm clock and the book I was reading at that time, all the way to the couch. Might not seem like much now but roughly, it was larger than the dorm prefect's cubicle (read: room). Things change in a weekly basis. One day, the warden would ask me to move the couch back to the Common Room. A few hours later I would take it back. The wooden locker would be eventually replaced by a much bigger, metal one towards the end of my stay. And oh, about the colour scheme. Sulaiman House, red colour. Notice the flag?


One thing that is messing my mind is this. I love to decorate. I even though of studying Interior Design or Architecture after SPM. The problem is that I have only 16 months left in that house. I was thinking of staying though, maybe if I can get a work at Astro after I grad but  a few days back the landlady called me saying that she is considering to sell the house after my contract runs out.

A part of me is telling me to just do it, 16 months is a long time. Another part of me is telling to leave it be, lets not waste money etc. I don't know which side I should listen to.

Posted on Sunday, August 10, 2008 | 2 comments

Avril Lavigne

Posting ini berbau politik, ditujukan kepada Pas. Aku boring dah dengan hangpa.

The youth wing of Malaysia's hardline opposition Islamic party Wednesday called for banning a concert by Canadian pop star Avril Lavigne later this month, saying the singer's 'prancing' performances were not suitable for locals.
Hat tu tak sesuai, hat ni tak sesuai. Apa yang sesuai? Kalau nak kata local, joget local tapi aku rasa mesti tak sesuai jugak. Nak tanya sikit ni. Hangpa tau dak negara aku ni bukan orang Melayu saja rakyat dia?

However, the opposition Parti Islam SeMalaysia (PAS) youth wing slammed the organizers for approving the show, saying the young pop-punk star's loud shows were not in line with local culture.
Define local culture. Tak payah la nak cakap nak preserve budaya ketimuran. Ketimuran. Dekat Jepun, negara paling timur tu pun banyak porno. Hangpa suka Arab kan? Arab tu ada belly dancing. Haa.. Tu depa punya local culture.

'Our independence month should be marked by respect ... and not remembered by inviting the offsprings of colonists who will teach our children how to become modern monkeys, prancing around without any purpose,' he said in a statement.
Offsprings of colonists. Che abang oi, Avril Lavigne tu orang Kanada. Tolong sat habaq mai kat aku tahun bilanya yang kita ni kena jajah dengan orang Kanada? Hang nak kata US pun tak boleh jugak sebab depa tu pun tak pernah jajah kita.

Modern monkeys. Hang dah insult semua rakyat Malaysia, muda, tua yang pernah pi concert. Jangan ingat hangpa orang tua hangpa tak pernah pi concert. Dulu ada kot concert.. Tak kira la hangpa pi konsert Black Dog Bone ka, Ekamatra ka. Apa yang bezanya kalau lompat-lompat dengaq lagu English dengan lompat-lompat dengaq lagu Melayu?

Without any purpose. Having fun? Itu purpose. Getting together with friends? Itu purpose. Abang oi, bukannya belajaq dan kerja saja yang orang panggai purpose. Aku pun pi concert, tapi aku tak lompat-lompat. Aku duduk dekat tepi dengan kawan-kawan aku. Jangan guna minda stereotypikal hang tu untuk prejudice about what we do. Jangan ingat hangpa tu baguih sangat. Kami pun manusia, kami pun akil baligh, reti menilai baik dan buruk.

'Approving this concert is a great insult,' the statement said.
You are insulting people. Thus I am insulting you.

A party official declined to comment, as Lavigne holds Canadian nationality, saying only that Western influences in general were 'damaging' to local culture.
Walaupun aku hidup di dunia ni baru 19 tahun, aku tau yang seburuk-buruk manusia pun ada benda baik yang hang boleh belajaq pada depa. Tak boleh la hang nak kata yang seluruh dunia barat tu jahat dan kita-kita ni yang duduk timur ni baik. Lagi sekali aku nak cerita, dekat Jepun ada porno, dekat Arab ada belly dancing. Again, define local culture. Budaya ialah cara hidup. Cara hidup berubah-rubah. Jangan sebab la ni tak sama macam waktu hang kecik-kecik dulu apa yang jadi la ni bukan budaya. Aku marah sungguh la dengan hang ni. Cakap biaq pikiaq panjang-panjang.. Geram, geram, geram.

Aku tak mau hangpa perintah negara aku. Sungguh aku tak bohong.

Source: Deutsch Press-Agentur


Aku bersusah payah cuba tak mau tulis apa-apa pasal politik dalam blog aku ni. Jijik, kotoq. Tapi aku tulis atas dasar sosial. Be a realist for once. Bukak mata, jalan-jalan pusing pekan, tengok, dengaq dan cuba-cuba la paham. Dunia ni lebih daripada apa yang ada atas tapak tangan hangpa.

Mintak maaf kat siapa-siapa yang tak setuju. Ini pendapat aku. Nak cakap apa-apa, komen. Mungkin esok lusa aku delete post ni. Tak seronok, hati tak tenang..
Posted on Saturday, August 09, 2008 | 6 comments


A new semester begins. I'll be back in Sri Kembangan tomorrow. Second year, second semester. Two semester to go. Hopefully I'll be employed by 2010. Age, 21.

Kau muda lagi bro, asal tak sambung belajar?

Siapa kata belajar kena dalam kelas?


I'm thinking off going on a trip after graduating. See the world a bit, flush out everything to start a new for the transition. A spiritual journey. 

Chewah.. Darjeeling Limited. 

Orang Malaysia jarang buat benda-benda macam ni. Kalau Mat Salleh boleh awat kita tak boleh? Siapa kata spiritual journey kena pergi Mekah buat umrah?

I want to go to Mandalay.

Why? Jauh perjalanan luas pemandangan. Reminds me of this quote from Cepe's blog.

Asad once asked an old Bedouin about why he moved from one place to another and not settle in one area, firm some land, and rest in peace. To this the Bedouin replied, “If water stands motionless in pools, it becomes stale, muddy and foul; only when it moves and flows does it remain clear...
Enough said.


Siapa-siapa nak ikut, make yourself free in 16 months time. Start saving, start exercising. We'll walk down the road to Mandalay.

I am so very serious.

Photos courtesy to QT Loung. His gallery can be accessed here.
Posted on Saturday, August 09, 2008 | 5 comments


Sebatang pembaris kayu di Popular, Ampang Point. Jenama Ziraffe.. Hurmm. This does sound familiar..

Back in 1995 when I was in standard 1 I had an argument with my Bahasa Melayu (or Bahasa Malaysia, I can't tell) teacher over the correct spelling and pronunciation of the word 'giraffe' in Malay. I recalled my ABC book spelling it as 'zirafah' so I was 'zirafah' all the way. My teacher said that it was 'girafah'. Since I'm 7 years old schoolboy and she's about 5, 6 times my age she won hands down.

Ziraffe, girafah.. I guess bukan cikgu aku sorang yang confuse. Still, the ruler does look a lot like a giraffe kan? Brilliant branding.

By the way, I did a little research just now and this is what I found out. A few hundred years back, the humble and noble giraffe is called camelopard, an amalgamation of camel and leopard (go figure). The English word giraffe evolved from the French girafe which evolved from the Italian giraffa which is derived from the Spanish and Portuguese girafa, all based on the Arabic zarafa from where we got our zirafah from. 

Woohoo! Cikgu BM aku tu European!
Posted on Friday, August 08, 2008 | 2 comments

Cukai Jalan dan Rebate

Mai sini aku nak cerita sikit.

Minggu lepas aku pi la Bangunan UniAsia dekat Jalan Sultan Ismail nak renew insurance. Lepas tu aku lintas jalan pi Pejabat Pos Medan Tuanku. Tunggu punya tunggu nombor aku pun naik kira-kira lepas setengah jam. Aku pun pi la dekat kakak tu habaq nak renew roadtax, siap dok pegang dah borang nak claim rebate tu.

"Ni kena buat dekat JPJ, ada saman."

So tak lama lepas tu aku pi la Balai Polis Rawang, dia kata kalau pasal traffic kena pi Selayang jadi aku pun pi Selayang. Sampai Selayang dia pun print la saman aku. Satu kemalangan, satu speeding. RM 600. Adoi.. Mahai. Aku teringat terbaca dalam surat khabaq kata ada boleh dapat diskaun tapi polis tu kata takdak. Adoi..

Kelmarin aku pi Bukit Aman, pi bayaq saman dekat sana. Orang dok kata boleh buat rayuan, tapi time aku masuk-masuk dia pelekat besaq-besaw depan pintu: Tiada rayuan, pegawai pergi kursus. Aku pun pi la beratur bayaq. Nasib la baik polis tu bagi diskaun RM 100. Lega la sikit. Lepas tu aku pi pulak Pejabat Pos nak renew, tunggu punya tunggu, sampai turn aku kakak tu kata computer down. Adoi..

Aku pun pi JPJ Setapak esoknya. Terkejut aku, dalam 10 minit dah turn aku. Duduk sat, bayaq, setel. Pergh.. Cemerlang. Aku pun tak sabaq nak pi Pejabat Pos nak redeem duit yang Pak Lah nak bagi tu. Dekat JPJ tu ada Pos Mini, tapi tak bulih nak redeem situ. Sebab dia mini kot. Tak pa lah, esok aku pi Pos dekat rumah.

So lagi sekali aku tunggu nombor aku naik. Orang ramai, counter ada dua. Nombor untuk bil selalu naik, aku tunggu Pelbagai. Lambat pulak. Tak pa lah, janji dapat. Aku pun pi la dekat abang tu, bagi aku punya geran dengan borang redeem tu.

"Ni dah renew dah?
"Dah, dekat JPJ sebab ada saman"
"Bila ni renew?"
"Kelmarin? Uih.. mana boleh lagi. Kena tunggu 3 hari"
"La, awat?"
"Dak, dia kalau buat kat sini teruih dengan kami boleh dapat teruih"
"JPJ tak masuk sistem lagi, hari Sabtu mai noh?"

So nak bagi senang cerita la kan, aku bukan marah sebab aku kena saman. Nak buat macam mana aku eksiden, lepas tu aku tak reti-reti lagi nak bawak slow. Yang aku rimasnya, aku kena pi renew dekat JPJ, dekat situ tak boleh redeem. Nak tanya sikit ni, awat yang kalau aku buat dekat JPJ kena tunggu 3 harinya? Walhal dekat aku punya geran tu dah tulih dah yang aku dah bayaq. Takkan la tak laku geran aku? Takkan hangpa tak percaya? Ada ka orang saja-saja lukis-lukis atas geran kereta?

Aku tau mesti ada jawapan yang logik, aku saja ja nak lepas geram.
Posted on Thursday, August 07, 2008 | 3 comments

Siti Sifir

Soalan yang selalu membuat aku terfikir-fikir... Siapakah Siti Sifir? Di manakah dia sekarang? Sudah bekerja? Masih belajar? Mungkinkah dia seseorang yang kita kenali?

Ah, banyaknya persoalan...
Posted on Thursday, August 07, 2008 | 3 comments

Sepetang di Bukit Bintang


The Melting Pot

There are two main sides of Bukit Bintang in my perspective, both divided by Jalan Sultan Ismail. The first is the modern, clean side where the likes of Pavilion, Star Hill Gallery, Lot 10 and Planet Hollywood is, probably due to its proximity to such other side of the city; Raja Chulan, KLCC. Impressive just how many Starbucks are there. This is the side that usually end up in promotional video, fliers, ads etc.

On the other side is a shoddier Bukit Bintang. Slightly darker, smellier, noisier.. perhaps because of it is closer to Pudu. Okay, of course here is where Sungei Wang and Low Yat is but take a look around, there are so much different that Sultan Ismail can make. This is to me the more impressive and perhaps, original Bukit Bintang. If the Truly Asia thing truly want to be honest, expose this side to the world. At one corner you are in Arabia, take a few more steps and voila, China. Just take a look at the signboards and you'll see just how multicultural this stretch of road is.

Nonetheless, that is how things are for now. Just wait a few years and this stretch will no doubt be identical to the other side. Bland and boring. I personally think that things are better the way they are now isn't it?

Two sides of a city.
Posted on Wednesday, August 06, 2008 | 3 comments

The Girl in the Window



Click here to read
The doctors and social workers had no way of knowing all that had happened to Danielle. But the scene at the house, along with Danielle's almost comatose condition, led them to believe she had never been cared for beyond basic sustenance. Hard as it was to imagine, they doubted she had ever been taken out in the sun, sung to sleep, even hugged or held. She was fragile and beautiful, but whatever makes a person human seemed somehow missing.

Armstrong called the girl's condition "environmental autism." Danielle had been deprived of interaction for so long, the doctor believed, that she had withdrawn into herself.

The most extraordinary thing about Danielle, Armstrong said, was her lack of engagement with people, with anything. "There was no light in her eye, no response or recognition. . . . We saw a little girl who didn't even respond to hugs or affection. Even a child with the most severe autism responds to those."

Danielle's was "the most outrageous case of neglect I've ever seen."

Posted on Tuesday, August 05, 2008 | 2 comments

This is Terrorism

Baghdad, 5 years into the war. Through the eyes of an Iraqi journalist.


Part I: City of Walls

Part II: Killing Fields

Part III: The Lost Generation


George W. Bush. How many people have you killed today you filthy scumbag?
Posted on Monday, August 04, 2008 | 0 comments

Stanley Kubrick dan lain-lain

This blank pixel slate is staring at me, daring me to write down something smart, something funny or at the very least, marginally interesting. I've been in this situation many times before. Most of the times I did answer its challenge with a nice writing (according to me) but there are also those times when I just type in gibberish.. and more gibberish as if every keystroke I punched in would hurt, insult and desecrate this piece of blank, white pixel slate. I typed harder to hurt it more.

I'm probably slightly mad.


Aku keluar jumpa kawan-kawan semalam. Makan-makan, minum-minum, jalan-jalan, sembang-sembang, gelak-gelak, minum-minum, gelak-gelak semula. Selalu macam tu. Hidup ini cuma siaran ulangan. 

Kita semua plagiat.

Ada plagiat yang berjaya, ada plagiat yang gagal. Aku rasa aku gagal. Aku dah naik masak dengan blank stare yang aku dapat tiap-tiap kali aku cuba cakap sesuatu yang aku rasa macam pandai sikit. Mungkin aku terlalu pandai, tapi aku pastu berdosa menipu kalau aku kata kawan-kawan aku tak sepandai aku.

Aku tak boleh jadi sehebat Adolf Hitler, sehebat Sukarno, sehebat Fidel Castro, sehebat Anwar Ibrahim pun tidak. Tak mungkin aku dapat convince orang dengan percakapan sebagaimana mereka convince orang dengan percakapan. Apa yang aku tahu aku tulis untuk diri sendiri, bila aku mati korang boleh baca dan nilai aku, ikut aku, benci aku, kagumi aku, peleceh aku. Aku tak peduli dah waktu tu. Aku lebih risau kena palu.

Kalau anda pernah menonton filem V for Vendetta anda akan faham yang manusia boleh gagal, jatuh, mati tetapi tidak idea kerana ideas are bulletproof. Tengok ni saya sedang plagiarizing sebuah filem Hollywood. Apa-apa pun, aku lebih senang hati jika idea-idea aku terus hidup melangkaui jasad ini. Aku mahu jadi seperti George Orwell.


Semalam aku rasa aku sudah faham apa yang Stanley Kubrick cuba sampaikan melalui filemnya, 2001: A Space Odyssey, tentang Manusia, teknologi dan simboliknya monolith hitam itu.

Manusia berevolusi kerana perlatannya. Setiap langkah ke atas tangga evolusi cuma mungkin kerana adanya peralatan. Peralatan adalah batu loncatan peradaban manusia. Namun semakin manusia berevolusi, peralatannya turut berevolusi.. semakin canggih, semakin canggih. Manusia adalah khalifah muka bumi.

Muka bumi tidak sama dengan angkasa.

Di angkasa, manusia menjadi bayi semula. Dia hilang penguasaan peralatannya kerana persekitaran yang berbeza. Dia perlu belajar berjalan semula. Dia perlu berhibernasi untuk kesana-kemari. Tiada graviti, tiada udara.

Bila manusia hilang kawalan peralatannya dia hilang kawalan evolusinya, peradabannya.

Dengan teknologi yang ultra canggih dimana komputer dapat menilai dan berfikir, apa lagi gunanya manusia? Manusia diganti oleh peralatannya sendiri. Di kekecohan pergelutan antara manusia dan peralatan, yang dicipta tewas dan yang mecipta menang. Manusia lebih daripada perkiraan dan cold logic. Manusia ada jiwa.

Pada penghujung filem itu manusia perlu berhadapan dengan satu cabaran terakhir evolusinya, kematian. Melalui imagery Kubrick perlihatkan yang manusia ialah lebih daripada jasadnya. Daging-daging, urat-saraf dan tulang belulang hanyalah bekas untuk roh manusia sebagaimana sebuah gelas ialah bekas untuk air. 

Biarlah gelas itu pecah, air itu masih ada.

Dengan itu, manusia memulakan langkahnya untuk peringkat seterusnya dalam evolusinya, ke alam roh. Menarik.. bagaimana Stanley Kubrick berjaya menggabungkan dua teori yang contradictory, evolution dan creationism dalam menghasilkan karyanya.

Mungkin sekarang aku patut pergi mandi.
Posted on Monday, August 04, 2008 | 1 comments


If shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine
If it had a home would it be my eyes..

Posted on Friday, August 01, 2008 | 2 comments

My Photo
Location: Klang Valley, Malaysia

Rebel, sweetheart.

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