Bricks in the wall

I'm writing this from my messy bedroom in Rawang.. God I hate mess! Haha, I know that some of you guys might find that statement funny but well, we live and we learn or so they say. I just figured that I really really am not productive in a busy environment thus I spent sometime cleaning up this room since I will be around until July: it's almost semster break!

Anyway, I still have some works left that I need to pass up. It's quite silly actually to drive all the way from Rawang to Cyberjaya just to pass up work isn't it? Well, I noticed too but for the time being I think I rather stay here than spend boring days at Cyberjaya, alone. At least I have someone here who I can talk too. It's not that I don't have friends over there; I do. It's just that I can't seem to see a common ground between me and some of them while the one I love to chill with are either busy or away. That plus my workload almost snapped my sanity. Honestly, Im not bluffing. There were a few night where I felt too lonely that I talked too myself. Vocally, not dalam hati. You know how sick is that? I do, I can't help but cry that night.

That wasn't just the problem I'm facing though, there are still political issue that are left unsolved. Though some people might dismiss it as being a thing young people do, it is well against my priciples and though I try to buat bodoh, the more bodoh I became. What is it about? Ala, korang orang muda mesti tau kan? Heck, they even have advertisements and campaigns against this stuff, not to mention they'll hang you too if you somehow have a few at home. Yup, that's stuff.

I can't stand some people. How hard is it to have fun while being clean? I know I can. Lepak one day with my mates and there you have it, I'm happy! Pure, clean fun over some silly things we did when we were budak sekolah. It's not that hard and the cops won't come chasing your balls because of it. What is it I hear you say? Tak ganas macam tu? Why the fuck do you wanna be ganas for? Boleh jadi kaya? If yes, count me in but as far as I know, you lose more money that way and not to mention that people would have prejudice after prejudice just by the look of your face and you'll then notice that you'l be getting less and less MySpace comment. Come on, grow up bro.

I'm sorry if there's any kind of people I mention above are reading this, but that is what I really think about what you people are doing. You say that you ahve this problem and that problem. Man, you are already 23 for god sake! Ask my friends what I went through when I was 13. What heppened to your life when you were 13? Still I didn't take any thing to calm me down. I did not even smoke.. even once. Most people don't believe that, Cikgu Malek even want to take me to the hospital for a blood test when I was in Form 3. I found my refuge in reading, writing, drawing and music. It was way better than any drugs and instead of becoming more bengap, I can now blog and this is my 129th posting. I started this blog this year. Yes, I am saying that I am better than you people but I am not saying that you could not be better than me. You can.. of course. Just lose that stuff okay? Find a better way of expressing yourself. It's more worth it, trust me on this one okay?

What's worse than losing my friends is knowing that they are not fighting to keep me..