Love

I will always remember that day. The sky was getting dark as a dark cloud marched in from the East. It was probably sundown as the street is yet again clogged with frustrated people, eager to get away from the city before cats and dogs fell from the sky. It was a gloomy day.

I was walking down the road, carrying scraps of fish and food I picked up from the market. It had not always been my job to do this  but since Mother fell sick, the task of putting food on the table is on my shoulders being the eldest of the family. Well, we don't actually have a table in our humble abode behind the lorong there but you get what I mean.

As I walked down this long road home, my mind wondered to a time when life was good. It had not always been this hard for us. I remember a few years back we used to get free food everyday from this nice old lady living near the taman not far from the market. I remember her cooking oh so much. That was the good life up until the lady passed away and her children sold the house. I for one, knew about this only when I was chased away from the house by the new occupants who apparently didn't like me that much...

Now that we could no longer rely on other, we started getting desperate. I remember overhearing Father and Mother arguing at night about how he need to start working to feed the family and how he argued that it would be unfair for him to work while Mother sits at home just looking after the kids. Mother said that he was too lazy, he told Mother that she is too bossy. They went on and on and on until suddenly I heard a slap and soon after, Mother's sobs. I was too scared to even look.

From that day, things started getting from bad to worse. Father would rarely come home and when he does, usually very late at night, he is either drunk 0r angry. Most of the time it was both. Not only did he came back empty handed, often he left with most of our food with him. Our hard earned food. Food we gathered and struggled for. In the morning Mother would try her best to smile and make excuses on how the food went missing. It was already rotten she said, she had to give it to someone who needed it more she said. I know that is not true and deep down I know that she knew.

Mother never looked healthy in those few months. She was not as fast as she was, not as strong as she was and her hair started getting frizzy and dirty. I couldn't blame her. Neither one of us were healthy. The raining season too started to take its toll on us. Imagine living in the alley without a proper enough blankets to keep us warm. The rain would certainly bring fever as well as the endless flu. I hate the rain.. I really hate the rain.

It was on one rainy night when Father suddenly came back. They started to argue as the always do. Being drunk and utterly mindless, Father blurt out that he is seeing another woman. For a brief moment that seemed to last forever, there was quite. Even the drops of water falling from the sky hitting the ground did not produce anything more than a slow thud. I saw Mother stared deeply into Father's eyes.. and in a split second she slapped him. 

What happened after that is very much a blur. I vividly recalled seeing Father's fist lodged on Mother's cheek and his feet on her stomach. I remember Mother on the floor, hands clenched in pain. Seeing Mother in such a manner boiled my blood. As fast as a reflex, I jumped onto Father with my hands outstretched delivering punch after punch, straight into his face. He felt down, knocked out.

I ran to get Mother. I tried to pick her up while asking her is she was okay only to be pushed away. I wanted to ask her why but before my lips could even move, she slapped me on my cheek leaving it burning red in pain. In my confusion, she pushed my chin up and though her eyes were soaked in tears, I felt how serious she was when she said these words to me. "Respect your father".

Well, those time have passed. After he woke up, father left and never returned. To make matters worse, one of my brother went missing last year. He told us he wanted to help us look for food. In our folly we let him go alone. He never returned. Some people said that he was abducted, in our prayers we hope that he was adopted.

Mother's fragmented little heart was shattered even more and when her emotional wall came down, so does her physical will. Looking at her now it is hard to convince people that she was strong, able and happy just a few years ago. How could I make them see? No one is born like that, no one deserved a life like that.

I looked up into the sky as small drops of rain fell on my nose. The sky was getting darker in a bizarre hue of colours, a nice mixture of orange as the sun slipped even more down the horizon and the darkness that is soon taking over its place. I rushed home to get there before the weather got worse. 

I was running down the home stretch went suddenly I saw someone across the street. It was him, my brother. My long lost brother! Immediately I stopped and shouted his name on the top of my small little lungs while my face could not possible hide that big, happy smile. I saw his face turn and gaze curiously as he tried to find where the calls are coming from.. then I saw his eyes sparkle and he smiled. Immediately he ran across the street shouting my name while I was waiting on the other side, my arms wide open to embrace. It was the happiest moment in my life.. up until we both heard that loud honk from that big truck. And I saw him froze, there in the middle of the street, eyes staring straight at Death himself. I turned my face away, dared not to look..

Then suddenly in the corner of my eyes I saw a flash of something, something as it went towards my brother. As my head turned to see what it was, a loud bang hit my eardrums. My mind was still in denial though my eyes saw it clear. There on the road, bloody and dead. Mother. By his side, my brother shaken and shocked but still alive. Slowly I walked to her side and a warm tear flowed down my cheek. There was a lot of people all around but none did more than look away from my Mother, disgusted at what they see. My brother and I, we pushed her body slowly and carefully to the side of the road. Then we sat there by her side, waiting and waiting as the rain fell down more and more. 

Afterall, what else could two little cats do?

About this entry

You’re currently reading “Love,” an entry on pelangi hitam putih

Published:
Thursday, July 24, 2008
by amerhadiazmi