Paris

Paris, Je l'aime toujours

26 janvier 2010.
Champ de Mars.
Nikon D40 kit + Je l'aime toujours.
Posted on Thursday, January 28, 2010 | 1 comments

47

Anak ayam pulang, petang. Terlanjang. Badannya hanyir dengan sisa-sisa coretan sia-sia. Hatinya telah lama berkudis, perasaan-perasaan segala-gala gugur bak daun-daun kering dibelai angin berbisik manja. Dia tahu dirinya hina. Tak mengapa. Dia sudah terlupa siapa dia yang sebetulnya.

Mungkin sejak lahir lagi aku hina. Tak mengapa, tak mengapa.

Di luar sana hujan turun merintik-rintik. Tanah-tanah kering kini berlecak, kotor dan seelok-eloknya dielak. Ibu-ibu sayu menarik bidai-bidai tingkap, mengangkat kain yang masih degil membasah. Di tepi jendela panjang di tingkat atas rumah usang ini dia duduk bersimpuh, matanya yang sayu tiada sinar itu asyik meneroka dunia di luar sana. Barangkali indah.

Dari kecil lagi dia diperlihatkan kebencian, lalu dia membenci. Semakin hari mengheret diri, semakin dia sedar yang dia sendiri turut dibenci, terus dicaci lalu dia perlahan-lahan belajar menyendiri. Sedangkan dia yang dulunya petah berapi, kini menjahit bibirnya rapi.

Moga-moga sepi.

Setiap malam di atas tikar mengkuang yang mereput itu dia cuba berfikir, memaksa akalnya untuk cuba mengerti. Sedikit pun cukup, janji ada. Tapi seberapa kasihan pun bintang-bintang menatapnya, sampai sekarang dia masih lagi tertanya-tanya. Mungkin tercapailah doa ayahnya; anaknya ini bodoh dan bengap.

Di suatu petang itu sedang azan senja sayup berkumandang, terngiang-ngiang dia akan kata-kata ayahnya. Indah benar bunyinya barangkali, hingga dia ingat tersenyum tersipu saat pertama kali ayat itu membisik telinganya. Mana tumpahnya kuah kalau tak ke nasi. Lalu tanpa sempat dia sedari, berterbanganlah nasi itu bersama-sama pinggan, dilempar keras, tepat ke mukanya.

Si bilal di hujung kampung seakan-akan terdiam saat pinggan itu jatuh pecah di lantai, bersama gumpalan-gumpalan nasi berkuah. Sedang tangannya mengusap-usap bekas luka-luka di jari-jarinya dan bibirnya, dia teringatkan loya tekaknya dengan rasa nasi berkuah berpasir berdebu berkaca berdarah itu yang dia suap suap suap berkali kali ke dalam mulutnya.

Bergema-gema ruang mindanya, ayahnya masih belum puas ketawa.

Di luar sana hujan masih lebat.

Hujan melimpah di hatinya makin melarat.
Posted on Thursday, January 21, 2010 | 1 comments

Through the viewfinder

Hariry, through the viewfinder

June 2008.
Jalan Pluto, Subang Galaxy.
Sony Ericsson K610i + an avid collector's collection.
Posted on Tuesday, January 19, 2010 | 0 comments

Benjamin, Biak Mayoh Penumbuh

Vintage

A rockstar lived in my living room for close to a year. His name is Benjamin Ujang.

No, he don't have a band or a hit single, but he's a rockstar nonetheless.

Talented, eccentric, happy, eccentric, motivated, eccentric, optimist, eccentric, blatant, eccentric, open, eccentric, liberal, eccentric, traditional, eccentric, patriotic, eccentric, proud, eccentric, avant-garde, eccentric, eccentric, eccentric.

It often stresses me up at night when I'm trying to sleep and he's in the living room, blasting some screamo music. Other nights it would be some ethereal gamelan music while I remember those few days in August when he fell in love with Abdullah CB's original Tanggal 31 which Sudirman so famously covered.

But throughout all those footnotes, those few months were our most productive, creative and inspiring. Most of the works I'm proud of, I did with him, both directly and indirectly.

He's a catalyst.

When one day I saw a nice hill by the roadside that I think would look nice to photograph, he was the one who made me stop by the roadside, climb up that hill and shoot that photo.

During Earth Hour, we turned off the house's main switch, only to burn precious fuel driving to KL to see the city in darkness.

Yeah. He then compensated it by keeping the main switch off for a couple more hours after we got back.

Genius!

We don't always get what we want in life, sometimes we get something better, sometimes something worse. Sometimes we get nothing at all. But whatever it is the world wants to throw at Ben, he can surely take it and make the best out of it.

I can't think of one person who can't like Ben at first sight.

Like.

Don't worry to much about love. Love will find a way.

So macam mana housemate? Sweet tak?

Ramadan 1430.
Penang Road, George Town.
Nikon D40 kit + Adobe Lightroom + Makai Pandi aram.
Posted on Sunday, January 17, 2010 | 1 comments

Walk On

Cannon Square, Inside

Ramadan 1430.
Cannon Square, George Town.
Nikon D40 kit + Adobe Lightroom + Amir 'Arif Azmi.
Posted on Friday, January 15, 2010 | 7 comments

Quilt of the Dead.

Blanket of the Dead

Late 2009.
The Annexe.
Olympus OM10 + OM Zuiko 50/1.4 + Lucky SHD 100 + as lights is to shadows, as life is to death.
Posted on Monday, January 11, 2010 | 0 comments

8 Januari 2010.

Kalimah

Allah tidak akan mengubah nasib sesuatu bangsa melainkan bangsa itu merubah nasibnya sendiri.

Soal perubahan yang macam mana, akal Allah dah anugerah.

2009 di kesenjaan.
Masjid Negara saya.
Olympus OM10 + OM Zuiko 50/1.4 + Lucky SHD 100 - Extremism.
Posted on Saturday, January 09, 2010 | 0 comments

Tookoo.


Before Kami, there was Kami.

One is about rich kids bitching about how hard their life is, the other is about poor, homeless orphans whose life are actually hard.

One was screened in 2007, the other was screened in 1982.

I would like to think that the makers or the 2007 Kami was making the movie in respect of the 1982 Kami, showing the same story of the struggle of adolescent in the city, in two different times.

Maybe. There are some resemblance in both stories if you look at it through a very loose scope.

Both are about kids growing up. Both are about broken homes. Both are about these kids wanting to be musicians.

Many people don't remember there was a Kami in 1982. Many people don't remember Sudirman was the main actor. Many people don't remember that it was a good film.

I remember watching it back when I was a kid in the early to mid '90s. I don't remember it being on air again in any time recently. I don't know why.

Of course, there's that urban legend that surrounds Sudirman's death and how his family asked for the movie to be shelved indefinitely in respect to the musician. Whether the family actually hold such rights are beyond me, though it is possible that it was done out of respect.

Possible, but quite unlikely. We still hear him singing don't we?

The movie is a gem for the Malaysian film industry, a gem that is being fast forgotten by the people, more so with us having another influential film bearing the same name.

We shouldn't let this movie be forgotten. Watch it.
Posted on Monday, January 04, 2010 | 5 comments

Dari jari terus ke hati.

Saidah Saudah

Tahniah Azim Rashdi & Saidah Saudah Menhat.

1 Januari 2010.
Hulu Langat & New York.
Nikon D40 + AF Nikkor 50/1.8 + Nikon SB800 + Cinta.
Posted on Saturday, January 02, 2010 | 4 comments

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Location: Klang Valley, Malaysia

Rebel, sweetheart.

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